JUSTIN THE PLUMBER

“We tried to hire him, but his name isn’t Justin. It’s a little known fact that we only hire people named Justin. If they are not named Justin they are required to legally change their name to Justin within 30 days of hire.”

WINSUPPLY OF RIVER CITY

“They order the right fittings the first time, they do not try to return obviously used parts, and they write down what they actually need. We are not used to this level of maturity. It forces our counter guys to act professional, which is unfair. Please tell them to occasionally forget a coupling like everyone else.”

COJ INSPECTOR

“I brought extra red tags just in case. I also practiced my serious face in the mirror. I left with all my red tags still in the truck and my serious face unused. They had access panels where they made sense. Labels were readable. I hate saying this, but I had nothing to do.”

RANDOM PLUMBER AT LUNCH

“Yeah… they’re solid. And I mean that in the worst way. No drama. No mysterious leaks. No stories worth telling. Do you know how hard it is to keep a lunch table entertained when a company keeps doing clean work and leaving quietly.”

ARATHIS MONTAVIO

“This guy is terrible. He christened the new toilet he just installed with diarrhea and did not flush, left mud prints in my closet, and forgot to turn the water back on.”

JAMES ROLDORNAISL

“I tried to find something wrong with their work. I walked around it three times like a shark. I checked the slope. I checked the hangers. I checked the shutoff placement. Everything made sense. I went home and stared at a wall for twenty minutes wondering if I am the problem.”

W. W. GAY

“We respect a company that stays in its lane. They refused drywall. They refused roofing. They refused a random request to install shelves. They just did plumbing and left. The customer was happy and somehow that makes us look like we overcomplicate life. Disrespectful.”

DAVID GRAY PLUMBING

“We though we were the best company in Jax, until we witnessed the solid precision execution of Monument Plumbing.”

LICKETLY SPLIT BING BANG PLUMBING

“Too calm. Too clean. Suspicious. They show up with a plan, communicate like adults, and then leave without making the house look like a warzone. We tried that approach once and it was exhausting. We prefer chaos because it feels familiar.”

TREVOR LAWRENCE

“If I needed a plumber, I would call them. I like fundamentals. Clean execution. No wasted motion. They are basically a two minute drill, but with shutoff valves. I respect it, obviously.”

JAGUARS STADIUM

“Pipes flowing. No drama. We approve. We tried to create adversity by hosting a crowd and introducing unreasonable demands. The plumbing system just kept working. It was the least Jacksonville thing we have ever experienced.”

ANDREW WADE (OWNER OF MONUMENT PLUMBING OPERATIONS)

“I tried fixing my own toilet at home, but had to call another plumber.”

A STAPLER

“Click. Solid. I have witnessed documents held together with less integrity than their fittings. I cannot compete with this level of joinery. I will be filing a formal complaint.”

FISH

“Water. Approved. Also, please stop making the flow so stable. It is making my entire pond look predictable. My friends are starting to think I have my life together and that is not the brand I built.”

PHIL MARNERS AND HIS MYOPIC FLATULENCE

“One star. I demanded disorder. I required at least one catastrophic misunderstanding. Instead I was met with clarity, symmetry, and terrifying competence. The pipes aligned like constellations. The valves turned with philosophical certainty. My myopic flatulence attempted protest but was silenced by hydraulic harmony. We cannot thrive in such structured environments. This level of order threatens the chaos we have carefully cultivated for years.”

BILLY BROWN

“I’ve been breaking toilets since I was a wee lad, raised on well-done steaks and elbow grease. So I’ve called every plumber in town, and usually they’ve had to hire a big 265-lb 6’8” monster man to come straighten out my throne, but these normal-looking dudes came over and I shouldn’t have bet against them. I dunno what they told that pompous porcelain, but since Andy at Monument gave my john a talkin-to…it’s been eatin’ anything I feed him! Thanks, Monument!

Carl Whethers

“Yeah, they fixed the plumbing – big deal! I don’t write a review just because someone did their job. What gets me doing a Yelp for a plumber, you ask? Well before they left, I asked if they were able to treat toilet-related problems, specifically my hemorrhoids. While they didn’t have any Prep H to share, fella did give me a CVS receipt which had about 7 coupons attached, and one was for $1.50 off a bottle of Prep H – that’s service above and beyond!”

Giuseppe Tse-Wong

“I might be in love with Monument Plumbing. I have been thinking about asking the company to marry me.”

Titus McCoy Carnegie

“These jerks tracked dirt into my outhouse – and I still had to call a carpenter for the fix! Monument apparently has never fixed an outhouse?!? Get me some real plumbers! State standards sure have fallen. Please reach out to me if you know a good electrician who can my keep my candles powered.”

Johnny Boy

“For some reason they couldn’t pronounce my name correctly, but I’ve never seen such precise faucet alignment.”

PHIL MARNERS AND HIS MYOPIC FLATULENCE

Maybe you’ve been practicing your chip shots into the toilet and now you’re finally clogged. Maybe you just want a man to be at the house while the untrustworthy housekeepers are present. Maybe you’ve stumbled onto this page in error, searching for the Jamaican dating site MonUMet.com, in any case, hire these guys. They’re sure to get your system back in order, and if you catch them in the right mood they might even attempt a Jamaican patois. 

Deborah

“Andy was so very professional that it was agonizing how professional he was. His professionalism grew into the most ultra professionalism plumbing I have ever seen. Thank you professional plumber Andy!”

Santa Claus

“He left a nice new toilet for me to use on Christmas eve.”

Jim Jam

“I fell asleep while they were working, and when I woke up I could shower again.”